My journey for the competition started over a few drinks back in July 2022. One of my mentors, Domino de Jour, suggested that after I finished with my competition prep for The Apprentease Victoria 2022 that I should think about 2023 and to apply for Mx Burlesque Victoria. I remember thinking, “Me? Do a huge prestigious competition like Mx Burlesque when I’ve only been doing burlesque professionally for a little over a year? No way!”. Little did I know that a few weeks later that I would be a state title holder as runner-up of The Apprentease Victoria for my Black Magic Woman act.
After The Apprentease was done, I sat down and began to develop some ideas for MBV. I had songs and costumes in mind and I started to play with these ideas. I reached out to a few past competitors and winners of Mx Burlesque to see what advice they had for me. Their main pieces of advice were to create a budget and stick to it and start planning 6 months out before the competition as best as you can. So I headed to the studio and tried to create new acts but it just didn’t flow, I couldn’t connect with the pieces I had started to develop.
2023 rolled around and the application post went up on socials - it was time to apply for Mx Burlesque Victoria. A lot had changed since July - I became a regular stage manager for Red Light Confidential, I was getting booking regularly for my burlesque acts, I competed in Rosie Roulette’s Geeklesque Championship with a Spider-Man inspired routine and unfortunately my father passed away unexpectedly around Christmas time. I was dealing with my grief the only way I knew which was to power through and keep myself busy with work and burlesque.
I attended the information session at Motley Bauhaus to decide whether or not I should apply - the competition would be in July so I would have been doing burlesque for 2 years professionally, I had more experience in developing a new act to completion and I had been doing different styles of burlesque classes at Maison Burlesque but I was also dealing with the aftermath of my father’s passing and all the administration work you need to do.
It was a challenging time but I wanted the distraction, I wanted to process my grief. Whilst at work, I heard “Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You” by Led Zeppelin and a wave of grief hit me - it was a familiar song, it was a song my father listened to. A rush of emotions came through and suddenly I knew this was the song I wanted for MBV - themes, ideas, costumes, props started to flood my mind.
I submitted my application knowing that perhaps the theme of grief may not be ideal for a competition about the art of tease. I knew that my partially created act to “Smooth” by Santana could hit the brief for both the striptease or unique categories as per the competition rules, but I knew that I wanted to create this grief piece and that bringing that power of emotion to stage was something unique to me which I had been able to achieve with my Black Magic Woman act.
it wasn’t just about the choreography or teaching technique for the act, they were raw sessions on life and how to use the power of dance to express yourself.
Once I accepted the offer to participate in MBV, I started to research Isis wings, veils and silk flow as the ups and downs of Led Zeppelin’s song brought the idea of waves that the stages of grief will take you on and I wanted to express that with beautiful silks and fabric flowing. I reached out to Joanna (Belly Dance) and Gina Stirling to mentor me in their use of these props and their mentoring sessions were invaluable - it wasn’t just about the choreography or teaching technique for the act, they were raw sessions on life and how to use the power of dance to express yourself.
It reminded me to embrace the fun, it reminded me that I am a complex, beautiful Latina who can be seductive yet vulnerable.
Having “Smooth” as my second act to work on for the competition made sure that I wasn’t going too deep into those difficult grief emotions when rehearsing. It reminded me to embrace the fun, it reminded me that I am a complex, beautiful Latina who can be seductive yet vulnerable.
As I started to cement the choreography for my acts and create my costumes, my body began to betray me - I suddenly was extremely fatigued, I developed insomnia and noticed that my face no longer looked like my face. My legs and arms were swollen all the time and suddenly new stretch marks were appearing all over my body. People told me that maybe the stress of the competition was starting to get to me or that this was a delayed reaction to my father’s death. I knew that I had worked so hard and the competition was only 1 month away - I didn’t want to give up, I didn’t want to pull out of the competition so I pushed through. Whisky Falls helped me through the final elements of my “Smooth” act, modifying it for the changes my body was going through. Then in the days before the competition, most of my costume elements no longer fitted for my body as the swelling was fluctuating each day.
The day of the competition arrived, the competitors each went into their areas to process how huge this day would be and get into our zones. It was difficult to get into the mindset for the competition, the Latin pop music helped but as I put on my costume on my swollen body, I knew that the show must go on and that I could do this competition.
Once I stepped off that stage, I felt such relief, there was a huge wave of emotions I could let go - my rage, my sadness, my happiness, my grief.
The red carpet parade and striptease sections were a blur to me - the adrenaline of performing pushed me through as I knew I had to prepare myself mentally for the debut of my unique act. Gina Stirling’s words echoed as I stepped onto the Thornbury Theatre stage - "Breathe... take the moment to just breathe". Once I stepped off that stage, I felt such relief, there was a huge wave of emotions I could let go - my rage, my sadness, my happiness, my grief. I was so proud of myself for being able to tell my story through dance.
I snuck into the audience during the intermission while the judges were making their decisions as I knew I wanted to see my mum’s reaction to my act - she was inconsolable. Many people came up to me and also expressed how my act affected them, that they could feel what I felt and I knew that I had done the right thing in pushing through, not giving up and making sure people got to see this piece of art in burlesque.
After the competition, I was lucky enough to perform in Perth and Darwin and met with other state Mx Burlesque 2023 competitors. We got to share our experiences and we could all relate to the tolls we put ourselves through for the competition. I know that I haven’t creatively recovered and my body hasn’t physically recovered due to medical reasons, but I still love burlesque and still enjoy performing it. My experience this year in the competition taught me a lot about myself and what I’m capable of. It has fuelled a different fire in me to pursue creating the Victorian Burlesque Collective to help other burlesque artists in their creative journeys and I can’t wait to see what 2024 has in store for me.